Dec 12, 2005
....the latest

Christmas tree hunting

You may not be familiar with Christmas tree hunting, an arcane annual pastime in the far north. I am happy to provide you with a blow-by-blow description of the sport.

(Note that it is now an arbitrarily decided North American faux pas to actually say the word "Christmas", giving a new significance to the old abbrev "x-mas". The acceptable term, I believe, is a holiday tree, or light standard.

1. First, tree-hunters board a farmal-drawn wagon to be transported into the christmas tree hunting grounds.

2. Next, the tree-hunter sneaks up on an unsuspecting arboreal specimen of suitable dimensions,

3. Next, an alternate selection is made.

4. Next, the guide is flagged down, and cuts the tree down for loading into the wagon

5. Next, the booty is loaded aboard the family car to be transported back to civilization

6. Finally, the tree is trimmed, mounted, dressed, and decorated.